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Inventory of Parenting Practices
Check the statement that is the MOST descriptive of your TYPICAL parenting approach.

1. Household responsibilities are relentless and therefore...
I provide opportunities for my child(ren) to learn about and routinely help with everyday household chores.
I ask my child(ren) help with chores as needed but I do not give them consistent responsibility for everyday household chores.
I make assignments and let my child(ren) know that it is important to listen to my instructions so that I do not have to constantly remind them.
2. Communication and decisions occur differently in every home...
My family has a routinely scheduled family meeting to talk about family issues.
My family communicates plans and decisions on an as needed basis.
Our family decisions are made by the adults and clearly communicated to the children.
3. Household expectations are integral to every home, in our home...
My children and I make agreements around household rules and expectations and we hold each other accountable for following through.
My children know the household rules and expectations; however I do not consistently enforce them.
I have clearly established household rules and I take action when the rules are broken.
4. When my child expresses strong feelings of anger or frustration...
I listen with acceptance and empathy and help my child develop appropriate solutions.
I let my child know that it's not such a big deal and he or she just needs to calm down.
I let my child know that those feelings are not acceptable.
5. When problems arise with my child...
We talk together to find mutually acceptable solutions.
I tend to ignore the problem unless it becomes recurring or persistent.
I provide clear solutions and expectations for my children's behavior.
6. When my child experiences a difficult situation...
I explore my child's thoughts about what happened and what he or she might do differently in the future.
I generally don't get involved because my child needs to learn to deal with his/her own problems.
I carefully explain to my child what went wrong and how to avoid it in the future.
7. When my child comes to me with a problem...
I listen with empathy and, without fixing it, I explore my child's thoughts and solutions.
I want to help my child be happy so I do what I can to solve the problem.
I try to help my child understand their role in creating the problem and take responsibility for it.
8. When my child's behavior is out-of-control...
I encourage him or her to take time out to cool down before we attempt to resolve the problem.
I use time-out as a last resort when I can't think of any other option.
I use time out as a way to give my child a consequence and time to think about his or her misbehavior.
9. When my child misbehaves...
I understand that sometimes my child's behavior is influenced by circumstances that I am unaware of, so I ask questions before I react to the behavior.
I sometimes ignore the behavior and other times I plead with my child to stop.
I take immediate steps to correct the behavior and enforce appropriate consequences.
10. To ensure that my child understands my expectations...
I check out my child's understanding of my expectations and we mutually agree on consequences if expectations are not met.
I let my child know what my expectations are and find myself nagging to get them met.
I make what I expect very clear and then follow-up to make sure that my child obeys.
11. When my household rules and expectations are not met...
I follow through with consequences that are related and reasonable.
I get irritated and find myself nagging my child and threatening consequences.
I follow through with an appropriate punishment and then watch for the next opportunity to reward my child when he or she obeys my rules and meets expectations.
12. I believe that mistakes are...
good opportunities for my child to learn from their experiences.
damaging to my child's developing self-confidence.
an indication that my child is not taking responsibility and needs to be more focused and conscientious.
13. When my child makes a mistake it is my job to...
explore with my child his or her perception about what happened, why it happened, and what he or she will do differently in the future.
minimize the damage to my child's self confidence by fixing the situation in any way I can.
show him or her how to avoid making the same mistake.
14. In my home, household decisions are...
made by the parents with input from every member of the family including my child(ren) when appropriate.
made in a way that causes the least amount of family friction.
made by the parents with little input from the children.
15. My child feels my love most strongly when I...
genuinely listen with openness and respect and show warmth and affection for who he or she is and is not contingent upon specific behaviors.
lavishly praise and celebrate his or her efforts and accomplishments.
help them be the best they can be.
16. When my child shares his/her accomplishments or efforts with me...
I help my child express feelings of personal pride and I ask questions about what he or she did to achieve this success.
I make sure my child knows how proud I am.
I routinely praise my child whenever he/she is successful and/or meets or exceeds my expectations or those of teachers, coaches, and other adults.
17. I believe the best way to help my child become self-disciplined is...
to allow my child to experience the consequences of his or her behavior.
to give him or her lots of freedom; self-discipline will naturally develop with life experiences.
to follow through with punishment; painful consequences make lasting lessons.

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